


josh duns nipple

by regionals



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-06-02 05:21:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6552691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/pseuds/regionals





	1. Chapter 1

it's very perky. why it so perky.


	2. Chapter 2

why he so excited


	3. Chapter 3

nipples so sharp u could cut glass


	4. Chapter 4

theyre kinda small


	5. Chapter 5

is he okay  
does he need help


	6. Chapter 6

what if his nipples have a mind of their own  
sentient nipples  
does josh have sentient nipples


	7. Chapter 7

what if his nipples could play drums  
what if his arms are just giant nipples


	8. Chapter 8

i wonder how josh's nipples are doing today.

are they pointy and sharp as always??

i hope they're doing ok


	9. Chapter 9

open letter to josh dun:

i hope youre taking care of your nipples. be nice to them. touch them a bit. let them know theyre not alone.


	10. Chapter 10

he got some small areolas i hope theyre treatin his nipples alright


	11. tragic love triangle

Today's a good day. I've been having a lot of those recently, you know? Josh's nipples have been treating my emotional well being good as always, and I can honest to god say I am in love with his nipples. They're still great, they're still perky, and they could probably poke my eye out if I got close enough, but the point is, we're doing great.

Up until the beard came along.

It was December (or November) of 2015, when Josh decided to grow his beard out. Me, being the queer boy I am, nutted as soon as I noticed it.

I mean, look at this beauty? Isn't it amazing? Isn't that beard the best goddamn thing you've EVER seen in your life? 

Once the beard entered into the picture, though, it started an unexpected and rather tragic love triangle. See, I knew the beard wasn't going to last. I really, really knew that, but did that stop me from falling in love with the beard? Of course not. I'm the kind of man who can't let a beard like that go unnoticed. It was a good beard, pure, and honestly, I would go so far as to say it was the perfect beard. It's ideal. Not too long, not too obnoxious, and his beard actually matches his hair color and compliments his face almost perfectly. It's the best goddamn thing to walk this fucking earth.

ANYWAYS, the point is, like, the actual fucking point is that his beard came between my emotional well being and his nipples. I was perfectly content and happy with his nipples, you know? I never meant for this to happen, I really didn't. It started off as a few low key dinner dates. Of course, Josh was there, but he was the mouthpiece for his beard. He knew I had no actual interest in him, but rather, his beard. I bonded with his beard, formed a decent relationship with it, but eventually his nipples started suspecting. I was coming home late, reeking of booze and whatever Josh Dun uses to shave, and that's always a good sign of infidelity. It always is. His nipples? They're smart. They pick up on things quickly. Maybe that's why they're so pointy. Maybe they're so pointy because their IQ is ridiculously high, and they need to be stimulated lest they kill themselves out of boredom.

One day, his nipples decided to go through my phone. They saw text conversations between myself and his beard. Here is an example:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His nipples... they were heart broken. To this day, I don't know if they'll ever be perky again.

They confronted me

"AO3 User regionals, I can't... We can't go on like this."

I gasped, because I never heard his nipples talk before. Similar to his beard, Josh was the mouthpiece for his nipples. (He explains that they were so heart broken that they became sentient.) Due to being overly empathetic, I disregarded the fact that his nipples were suddenly sentient as I tried to justify myself. "I'm sorry, Nipples, but I'm... I'm in love. I love you, I really do, but I've finally found someone that makes me truly happy, even though my time with it is severely limited. Josh, I know you can't keep the beard forever, and I'm alright with that, but Nipples, you need to understand--a man has to do what a man has to do."

"I understand, but I want you to choose right now. Me, or the beard. If you choose the beard, I want you to know--just--you can't come running back to me the second Josh shaves it off. Once the beard is gone, you cannot come back to me. I will not be your second choice, your rebound, your  _compromise._ I love you, but I also love myself."

I wipe away my tears. "It's alright. You do what you need to do. I respect your wishes. Let's not make things awkward between us though, alright? We all know that whenever I see Josh's beard, you're always going to be there, under his shirt, listening, and I don't want--I don't want to hurt you."

"It's too late. The damage has been done. I'll try my best to get past it, but it's going to be difficult, being there,  _listening,_ just--listening while you and his beard have a jolly ol' time."

I let out a sob, and in a voice that makes this sound like some sort of indirect, broken please, I say, "I never meant to hurt you. I really never did. I only wanted what was best for you, and me. I'm so fucking sorry."

The nipples quit talking, and Josh gives me a sympathetic look plus a pat on the back. "They've given up their sentience. The pain was too much. I believe if they maintained sentience for any longer, they would've fell off, and I'll be real with you--I don't want to lose my nipples, no matter how much you love them."

I give him an awkward pat on the shoulder. "That's alright, man. I understand. Tell your nipples I send my condolences and that I wish the best for them."

 "Will do, AO3 User regionals."

**_To be continued..._ **


	12. Chapter 12

Dawn of the planet of Josh's rock hard nopples

-[paige](twitter.com/ayypeg)


	13. Chapter 13

Although useless, josh duns noodles bring great joy to those around for they stick up like erections as if he's constantly chilly

-[also paige](twitter.com/ayypeg)


	14. Chapter 14

hard as ever. cant wait for the second part of ers. wanna make sure theyre ok


	15. Chapter 15

its been a while since ive thoight about his nipples  
i wonder if theyre sensitive . josh better be nice to them


	16. Chapter 16

it's finally happened, my dreams have come true.

josh's nipple, at least his left one, has come back from it's state of dormancy.

this morning, it admitted it loved me, and offered me a gift in the form of a piercing.


	17. Chapter 17

after looking at brendon urie's nipples, i have come to the conclusion that josh has some pretty big nipples

theyre still cute but like... damn they big

i wonder if anything else is big


	18. Chapter 18

it's been so long since we've heard from josh dun's nipples. he's been in hiding. they've been in hiding. im heart broken i miss them so much...


End file.
